What do you call a bar with 5 deaf girls, a drunk midget, and a 6’2 giantess?
… a typical night out with Tucker Max.
That is not a joke.
That is real life … my life. I am the tour manager for Tucker Max’s book tour for his second book Assholes Finish First. And that pretty much sums up our night out in DC following his signing.
Before I even met Tucker, when he announced that his second book was coming out on Sept. 28 I sent a tweet to my Charlotte following announcing that Christmas had been moved, to Sept. 28. And not only did I get what I wanted for Christmas, which was to meet my favorite writer and garner his feedback on my writings, I got hired to assist him on his book tour. I must have been a good girl last year – or really bad depending on how you look at it. But if Sept. 28 was Christmas, then Tucker is Santa, and I am his elf … fit to scale.
And before you put the ASS in assume, I’ll go ahead and clarify that Tucker and I are NOT banging. The closest we’ve come to banging of any sort is when I give him bad directions while driving and I’m pretty sure he wants to bang my head against the car window. I am an aspiring author, not a plot line. Our relationship is strictly professional … well, minus going out and getting drunk with a midget, giantess, and deaf girls. Speaking of which, back to the story that sounds more like a joke. And just to preface, anyone who may think Tucker’s stories are bullshit, clearly has never hung out with him.